One salon, a cocktail of ladies and a new dawn with a mutual end game.

Howdy my people.
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

So, today I want us to discuss and share our thoughts about something.
I had recently gone to the salon. When they said that some of the places where you are going to get the hottest rumors, then make the first in your list as the salon,cause they were definitely right. So, on Saturday I was going to redo my hair, after quite some time. Now, the rate at which conversations and stories change while here is pathetically, amusingly malleable. One minute we were talking of how my hair, has really improved, to how right and wrong it will be to reopen schools, and to our topic of the day, “Just how baby showers, gender reveals, bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties are wrong”

Matter of fact, what instigated this topic, is the small black radio that hang on a wooden plank. It was a Kikuyu radio station that had been tuned on and when they started playing some secular songs, one the hairdressers had been like” wait, what’s happening?. Why are they playing those type of songs, during that time of the show? ” mind you it was a song by Diamond Platnumz, a renown Bongo musician. To be clear, we were 4 of us. 2 hairdressers and some customer, i mean I was the second customer. That makes us 4, right? Yea of course it does.

So one of the two friseurs went on to lament that if she ever attended a wedding and they start playing such secular songs, she would matter of fact, get up and walk away. And in my mind I was like, “the hell! it could be the devil in the rain, but what are you talking about? This is a wedding! Meaning people are here to have fun, dance, eat, mingle and all that. So why won’t they indulge themselves in some good music?

Don’t think I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m a believer and all that, but I also spectate for that other side of the spectrum. If it’s church time? Well and good, let’s all say the hail Mary, sit on that pew and listen to the priest deliver his sermon, let’s find devotion at the pulpit and all that. If it gets to having some good time? Then why hold back? Sing, dance and indulge!. Balance is very imperative, knowing what to do, when to do it and at what time. Oh, I forgot to add with who too.
We all laughed, trying to imagine how a wedding reception would look like, without people dancing to some modern secular songs. Wait, or is it possible? Someone enlighten me. I have been to very few weddings and maybe I don’t know much.

What took me by surprise was when she smoothly slid from that topic, to cynically condemning the act of people holding baby showers. “You young people have no idea that those people who attend these parties might be having bad intentions and before you know it, they’ve brought you gifts that have undergone demonic sacrifices and when you eventually give birth to a baby, he or she is deformed or having other weird problems. ” I’m literally mesmerized, so I will pretend I’m sipping some cold water, which I’m not. I understand her insecurities. I really do. I tried putting myself in her shoes, to see where she was going and coming from, with her perspectives. From there, I deduced that she is a staunch traditionalist, which is good. I mean, I’m superstitious from time to time, which stems from all the verbal traditional learning that we all go through. You do have some traditional beliefs you hold on to, right?
She went on explaining how back then, there never used to be all these “stuff”. Let me take you carefully through what she shared with us.

Back then, our mothers ad grandmothers, did not engage in baby showers, gender reveals and any other celebrations young people are holding. They never used to celebrate before the child was born, since it was a sign of bad luck, a taboo to be precise. Some tribes never even used to buy clothes for the unborn child saying it might jinx the unborn baby.
The mother to the expectant woman, her relatives and mother-in-law would alternate on coming to visit, and take care of this pregnant woman. They would bring her traditional foods that would give her more energy and all that. The celebration would be carried out once the baby was born, and not before, like you all are doing it.

Once she was done, that other customer interjected. “Things have changed. Trust me these days it’s hard to find a mother-in-law who is all out to take care of you. Your mum? Yes, but it’s hard for the mother-in-law to do it for you. When will she ever get that time to go to the farm and take care of her goats and cows? She won’t abandon her work, to come help you out. “

I actually gave her a nod of tacit acquiescence for her opinion , because she had some good point. These days you get pregnant, most of your relatives are not that much bothered or invested in taking care of you. They might visit you twice. During your pregnancy period and after you’ve brought the baby to the world. Funny thing, those who are there for you, are your friends.
I went on and jumped to how bachelor and bachelorette parties are also done these days.

“You people never cease to amaze me. What goes on in those parties.? ” the hairdresser asked and I exchanged looks, winked at that customer and laughed so hard. But we made the whole story short for her. “The girl comes together with her friends and do all the crazy things she had never done, and will never do once she is married. She takes that moment to have a time of her life, before she gets to say her vows and tie the knot, the same applies to the guy” once I told her that, she just laughed saying we are a doomed generation.

Thing is, I’ve been to several baby showers and it’s just one of those moments that mark the culmination of the mum to be, as you gather up as her friends, hold a party for her, eat, drink, dance, gift her and last but not least, a baby shower is never what it should be, without that girl talk. I don’t want to burst the bubble on what we talk about, cause that’s a girl thing, but trust you me, the whole thing is just perfect and very heart warming.

So yes, I support those baby showers. Not everyone might be able to hold them. And if it comes to that point, it’s okay sweetheart, no pressure. The end game is that one delivers that baby safely. For those who have managed to have one, they can attest that it’s pure bliss.

We are now facing a new dawn that appears catasrophic due to diversified opinions.
So when all is said and done guys, do you think that all the issues revolving baby showers, gender reveal parties, bachelor and bachelorette parties, are customs that we’ve brought upon ourselves that seem to differ from what those before us have deemed as inappropriate?. Because I think it’s a gap that is being bridged slowly, by a new generation which is “us”. Adaptation into what I call moving with time, adaptations that are aiming at re-coloring at what is seen as traditional, making it fit for what is easily accessible to us. The end game is one and we can all agree on it, looking forward to the safe delivery of the baby. That should be our bigger picture, right?

Lend me you your thoughts on the issue and I will highly appreciate. Thank you.

I love you guys for the continued support and engagements.

The wife in me must have died a long time ago.

Guys!!! I don’t know whether to be pissed or disappointed. Now, let’s have an open discussion on this piece, because I really want to know what your take/perspectives on the issues I will be addressing here today are.

Just the other day, my aunt had visitors over. I wouldn’t call them visitors per say, more like some very close family friends. They were five of them. The mother and her kids, who are actually 3 girls and 1 guy, all grownups, then there was my aunt and uncle. Well I was also there, but I didn’t want to interfere, so I just made myself busy in the kitchen. I wasn’t that much interested in whatever shenanigans they engaged in, but something did catch my attention. Can’t tell if it was the oestrogen that seemed to have deluded them or what exactly was going on. I’m unable to place a finger on it.

“Don’t ever allow yourself to carry your wife’s hand bag, no matter the case. You are a man” came by aunt who was highly backed up by the mother to this guy.
“Yes, the voice makes a man, don’t ever agree to be downplayed by a woman. Prove you are the man in the relationship ” my uncle chipped in.

It’s only by grace I didn’t break the glass I was washing, cause it hit the tap with such force, as shock hit my system so hard. I literally dried my hands on the apron I had on, and leaned by the sink to listen to what I was referring to *self centered unsolicited opinions that are so yesterday? *

Funny thing, the guy seemed to concur with what he was being told and I laughed at the whole thing, trying to console myself that he was doing it just to seem like the good guy who listens to his elders. I mean, I would have prolly done the same, but as we say, vitu kwa ground ni different.

“If a woman ever tells you to look after the milk so that it doesn’t boil and pour over, so that she tends to something else, don’t ever do it! Tell her to switch off the cooker and come boil her milk later! ” my aunt continued interjecting.

Well at this point, I pulled out my nonexisting chair, poured myself some imaginary coffee and buckled up to get more of this toxic masculinity and oestrogen pumped advice, because it was getting annoyingly spicy.
When did we get here?. What happened to partnership? Where the hell did for better for worse dissipate to?. So these is what marriage is constituting of?. Because if this is the case, then ladies and gentlemen, the wife in me died ages ago.

I have lost count of how many times I’ve been told that eating noodles, what we commonly refer to as indomie, is “so un-wife like” that a lady should know how to cook, get in the kitchen and learn how to whip up something for her husband. I mean, it doesn’t sound wrong to some point. I have experienced what it feels like to be in the kitchen past midnight preparing meals with your significant other and let me tell you! it’s heavenly. Thing is, I’m not so much into cooking, I’ve picked up a few skills here and there. I did home science back in my high school days, but I’ve never loved the whole idea of being in the kitchen alone. I’ve burned mittens, burned food and somebody’s son was really amused by my clumsiness but never looked down on me for it. And it made me feel so good. Made me feel great, like I just wanna go out of my way learn how to do all types of food. But when some random person keeps on ranting on what a lady ought to do to make her a wife material? Naaaa, please don’t come at me with that! so, not knowing how to cook automatically disqualifies you from a being a wife?

Who even came up with metrics of “wife material? ” because it seems he or she must have had some loose screw up there.
When my aunt walked in on me cooking indomie, it was just me and her in the house and she went all out like, ” Joyce you are not serious. Is it that you are just lazy to cook something? There’s everything in this house to cook. Know you are the generation that is now almost getting to that marriage stage, and you need to teach yourself how to cook. You think your husband will be happy when you can’t cook a mere decent meal? you ought to be serious”

Now I don’t know if it was the condescending tone she used, or whatever it was, I don’t really care. But first of all! I had eaten some heavy late lunch, so all I needed was a light meal, and indomie seemed like the perfect meal. Second, who says I want to get married? For all I know, I might not want to get saddled up with someone*laughs sarcastically * Third, why do you talk of me getting married and that I don’t know all the claimed wifely duties, yet you would be on the frontline of condemning me if you were to know I have a boyfriend? And make me the talk of the entire family and every Tom dick and harry? Going bizarre of how I should wait to finish my studies? It beats logic for me. Like just pick one side and stick to it. All these stuff of you being a *wifely duties connoisseur *needs to stop ! And that applies to anyone with that mindset!!

It’s not the first time I’ve also been called out for loving to sleep. My love for sleep remains undisputed and that is something I have come to terms with. I may love sleeping, but shoe on the other foot, I also know when I’m supposed to wake up early. I know how to balance, feel me? “a lady is supposed to wake up early, otherwise, when you get married, your husband will send you back to your parents house” they said.

Jesus Christ! Who says these and many more menagerie stuff are the litmus paper for deciding if a lady is wife material/or not?
Back to that issue up there on a guy carrying a handbag for his girl, what is so wrong about that?. Guys would you carry that handbag for her? If not, what’s your reason?. Ladies, do you like it when your guy helps you carry your bag?. Because, I think it’s so sweet when he does it. *Like come here baby, lemmi give you a kiss, cause you just so sweet! “

So I figured out, if some of these things are what make the cut off, for being a wife, then I would be way below average, rather the wife in me must have died long time ago yet no matter the situation, I would choose a me, if I were a guy, so, there’s nothing much to waste or worry about. .
Anyway, so what’s your take on all these rules that the society is day to day imposing on the characters that one should have, for them to qualify and be viable for marriage? share with me those crazy things and moments, because I really want to know!
Good day ahead to you all.
Nothing but love from me to you ❤❤

World Humanitarian Day.

211 million. Think about it. What would you do if in terms of money this was handed to you?. Hand to God, I bet you would have a myriad of things to do with it, true or true?. Now picture this, as the same figure of people suffering around the world. The UN gives this number as the approximate number of people hit with all types of disasters. What would you do with that number of people suffering, dying and all that,?. Nothing much, right?. You can only do so much, that the only thing would be prayers for them. There is this gap between people all over the world and the government. The government might not be able to reach out to everyone at a go, and this where humanitarians step in to bridge and make a change, as small as a ripple in the ocean. I call them angels from above. I mean, who would risk their own lives just to go out into some interior war savaged area, just to help people build back their lives, provide medication, ensure they have nutritious food?

Humanitarians are day in day out making sure that the helpless people get the help they can get. For this we dedicate an entire day to appreciate their efforts, and that’s why we have the World Humanitarian Day. On this particular day, we get to acknowledge the deeds that they undertake. Public awareness is the best arsenal that is used to let the whole world know and sensitize about the need and appreciation of the humanitarian personnel. By doing so, we are able to embrace and acknowledge the activities they indulge in, that save lives now and then. I am in full support for this day, because the magnitude of somebody selflessly putting themselves at risk to help others, unaware of what might happen while at it, can not be under estimated. That is a true hero.

World Humanitarian Day was established by the General Assembly of the UN in December 2008 and was first observed in August 2009. The date of August 19 is the anniversary date of the 2003 Canal Hotel bombing in Baghdad where twenty-two people lost their lives including, the UN’s High Commissioner for Human Rights and the Special Representative of the secretary-general to Iraq, Sergio Vieira de Mello.
No one anticipates a disaster, no one longs for one to happen. So when that drought, rise in gender violence, tribal clashes, floods, hurricanes et cetera manifest themselves, the need for intervention is imperative in order to gauge them, before they get out of hand. The more they are, the more the need for humanitarians to come in. It is good to underline and highlight the fact that this is not possible without the global effort of individuals from all corners and all walks of life. Humanitarian work is solely based and reliant on donations, sponsorships, partnerships and team effort. With such combined effort, then people affected by a crisis get to live another day, they get to have hope for another day, all because someone took it upon themselves to shed light and priority on them. Putting aside differences brought about by religion, race, gender and background, the biggest drive for all these is the need to arrive at the human goals that connect us all, lacing it with some respect, love and integrity, minus discrimination for it all to balance.
Sustainable change is the means to an end that stringently envelopes the humanitarian world. Humanitarians want to reach out and help others, ensuring at the the end of it all, the victims will be having something they can rely and count on, once everything is said and done.

So, on this day, August 19,we appreciate humanitarians for the endless ways they come up with in order to help control and do away with crisis that threatens human development. The fact that they are able to find the missing puzzle and make it whole once again, it brings such a huge impact in the lives of others, who are in no position to help themselves. The ripple effect of the humanitarians is felt far and wide.
When we say charity begins at home, then it means that you can also get to be a humanitarian and in your own small way, change the life of those orphan kids in the orphanage by donating food, clothes and spending time with them, building that small house for an elderly person whose house was slanting precariously and on the verge of falling off , feeding that street kid, helping that girl who was to be married off to some old man, cleaning your neighbourhood, human rights campaign, and so on. So if at one point or another you have engaged in such activities, then you deserve a round of applause, because that right there, was some humanitarian work!

I will be waiting.

Been waiting for so long for you to fall so that I catch you, but I guess you are strong than i thought. Or are you faking it? Even superman needs saving at times, but in any case, I will always be here waiting for you. And when your legs get weak, not being able to hold your weight, feeling like your world is crumbling, , your world cold and needs clear as sapphires then in my arms I shall be waiting to hold you.

Not their biggest fan.

The only good thing about this morning for me was the sunset that fell upon the vast delmonte fields, making it look like the pineapples were worshipping it. The ambience was breathtaking.

I start with this cause that was the only beautiful thing, this morning.
I’ve never really liked conductors. I don’t remember ever standing up to one,when they do not give me my change after I handed over my fare or any other thing. I just don’t like getting into iterative verbal spiels with them. But today!! I stood up for myself. I mean, he did refuse with my change, but the bottom line is, I love the fact that I stood up for myself. Might have muttered a few curses beneath my breath, cause he did act so rude. I would want to lie and say that I let him go Scot free, but I would be lying cause I did wish him to have an awful day deep down in me. Now this was the first vehicle I had boarded.

I had to board another to get me to town. Looking at the long line of about 200 people ahead of me, I sigh out of desperation. I will be for sure running late to work today. The morning mist is still lazily clearing off and the cold is biting into my legs since I’m in a skirt. But what exactly doesn’t music cure? So I plug my earphones in place and blast the music and at one point I had to get them off, see if those near me would hear it. I get carried away and now I’m swaying to Sam smith ft Burna boy, Oasis on repeat to pass time. It was 7 am.

I’ve never really been into cars, but of late, with such incidences, I am staring to think it’s not so bad owning one. 50 minutes still in line, my eye caught a troop of monkeys lingering around some building. It’s in the middle of town and it’s fascinating. The line is slowly moving and I’m in no way losing my patience!. Patience pays, so they say, right?
The day is just starting and just because I started off with a few bad moments, don’t mean it’s gonna be like that. Tides turn and I am just optimistic that it’s gonna end just fine.
Happy new Monday and week ahead guys!. Lots of love!!.

Just how often?

Just how often do you tell your parents that you love them?

So today was my mum’s birthday. And guess what?. I got so held up at work, that it slipped off my mind. Yes. I am feeling guilty. Very awful. I was crying as I wrote this. I was in a bus headed home to my aunt’s place from work and I was tearing down, not caring about those other passengers looking at me. I mean, I forgot to wish my mum a happy birthday! And it makes me break down. She was just from calling me, her mood very happy, glad that she called me. We talked about so many things, and in still the good mood, she drops the bomb, “it’s my birthday today”.
I chase it with some shock laughter and tears flow down my cheeks as I tell her happy birthday, texting her how much I love her. I miss her so much. Can’t remember the last time I told her I loved her. But today, I did it, cause I really do love her, much as I don’t say it often to her.
So, all I want to tell you guys is, it feels good telling your parent you love him or her. It’s just so pure. ❤❤🌼

The Da Vinci of a broken heart.

I was yours even before you became mine.
I don’t remember having fought so hard for love, like i did with you, cause it meant keeping you forever, or so i thought.
Maybe i’m just an ill fated person, cause it never materialized.
I’m not sure i remember much before you came into my life, but those times we were together? Those i remember like it was yesterday, the memories still fresh with me.
I’m not frugal with words, i can still express all that you made me feel to this very day, without running out of ink and paper.
I’ve got so much of you in me, than you can ever imagine.
I still have a connoisseur’s eye when it comes to your love.
I can’t begin to explain how shattered my heart has been over time, yet with all the pieces and debris, i would still choose you again.
I don’t want to ever fight this hard for love again. Because it hurts, yet my heart will always choose you.
For baby, nobody hurt me like you hurt me but still, nobody loved me like you did.

And if you ever forget, just know that you made me yours before you even knew it.